Long ago and far away, in a distant virtual land, before there was a Web, or even a Net, a nice, well-educated Jewish girl joined an electronic BBS devoted to SM topics. This was in 1986, and the nice Jewish girl was me. The BBS was called Love-Line, and it was based in New York. Although a girlfriend had been exhorting me for a year or more to explore SM, claiming that she could tell I was kinky, I simply didn't believe it. I'd always had the wildest fantasies (which I'd never told anyone about) but, having read through the standard SM works (like Story of O and the works of De Sade), I did not feel my own fantasies qualified as SM. It wasn't until I joined the BSS that I finally realized my friend was absolutely right about me: my private fetishes and perversions made me a walking case study of sadomasochism in extremis.

Although I had to face my own private struggle with being an SMer--like most people who come to this knowledge late, and with serious questions about its implications--my overall feeling when I realized what I was (and thus understood more about who I am) was PURE RELIEF. I didn't feel quite so alone anymore; and there was something dangerous and exciting about discovering that I was part of a radical sexual fringe. The experience of sharing my fantasies on-line, and meeting people who accepted (and even exalted) my desires was exhilarating.

For someone who had been so immensely repressed and in hiding from herself about her deepest desires, the transformation was sudden and revolutionary. One day, I was prudish about kink; the next, I embraced it with open arms, full of joy to at last have a name for what I was sexually. I've never looked back and I've never regretted coming out in every area of my life, though it has cost me a few relationships (but really only a very few!). I thought, and still think, that being able to live in truth with oneself, about who one is and what one really needs, is the only path worth taking.

So exhilarating was my first step into SM that, within months of joining the BBS, I began composing erotica to upload to the databases. Although I've been writing masturbatory fantasies for myself since I was a teenager--one might even say I have a fetish for writing smut!- this was the first time I wrote erotica for public consumption. And, boy did I write. Every perverse thought that I'd been bottling up for 30 years came tumbling out in a mad rush. We are talking A LOT of thoughts! My libido has always operated at maximum speed.

Typing late into the night, I posted dozens of twisted stories on Love-Line. To my surprise (relief? joy? wet panties?), my febrile imaginings became enormously popular--or notorious, depending on your point of view.

In 1987, I founded the first on-line SM support group "Variations II" (on Compuserve) and promptly churned out more erotica for that data library. People seemed to enjoy these very much as well, at least until CompuServe purged our datalibrary (on charges of being pornographic), and the lot were censored.

I also began publishing erotica pseudonymously in a range of D&S; magazines, including "Hard Bound," "Stand Corrected," "Spank Hard," "Dressing for Pleasure," and others. Because I was still working mainstream jobs in those days, all of these works were published under one of three pseudonyms (Mistress Cleopatra, Mistress Angelique and Mistress Miranda). Then, in 1989, Will, Jon and I started our own electronic SM newsletter ("The Original Agenda") and I began a D&S; serial in that publication as well.

In 1990, I found myself infinitely more drawn to writing smut for private consumption again...partly because I had found a correspondent who intrigued me so much that I preferred exchanging fantasies with him to creating ones for strangers. So I confined my efforts to scintillating private letters for several years (and have destroyed most of them, since I've decided there's quite enough already about my sex life available in the free world...) and also out of consideration for the man of my epistolary dreams.

But when I started up this website, I again decided that no SM spot would be complete without some smut. The results are a series of femdom tales composed in the last 12 months, which regular readers here have seen. These stories will be compiled, along with about a dozen more, into a book of femdom erotica which will be published in 1998 by Daedalus Press (working title: DOMINA). I will, naturally, promote it here when the book's publishing date approaches.

As for my old stuff...I had pretty much forgotten about it. But a couple of months ago, JoAnna Michaels of the now (sadly) defunct HighHeels website asked for a TV-related story or two from me, and it occurred to me that it was time to finally to look for the old files and see if anything I wrote in those early days, when I was bursting at the seams to explore SM of every kind, wasn't too dreadful to publish.

Well...it may be...but I've decided to include a few samples of my vintage erotica on this site anyway. In case anyone has not yet figured it out...I really have NO SHAME.

Hope you enjoy!

Gloria