Question:
I fantasise about other women when my boydfriend is giving me cunnilingus, but not during any other sex act. Am I a lesbian?

Answer:
Have you ever had sex with another woman? That is usually a good indicator of lesbianism.

Having fantasies about other women during sex with men doesn't make you a lesbian any more than fantasies about being a rock star make you Mick Jagger. At this stage, they are fantasies only, and suggest only that you may have some bisexual feelings. Most adults have SOME bisexual feelings. If yours are limited only to the fantasies you're having during oral sex, that's not a whole lot of feeling. You'll know that it is a powerful part of your personality on the day when you feel you simply cannot be satisfied until you experience it.

Now it COULD be that somewhere in your heterosexual soul you do have a curiosity or longing to experiment with a woman. Even that doesn't mean you're a lesbian. You can't really know the answer unless (a) you feel deeply in your heart that you are or (b) you explore lesbian relationships and discover they make you happy and fulfilled.

Many heterosexual couples go their entire lives fantasizing about same-sex encounters. Some feel so stirred by their fantasies that they decide to live them out. Some confide in their partners, and have three-ways. But, frankly, most do absolutely nothing about their fantasies except enjoy them. And that is what I advise you to do. Enjoy the things that turn you on, and don't worry about what they mean.

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