In any case, if you choose to find out if you have one, access to it is gained through rear entry, and usually involves digital stimulation. To put it in plain English: your friend will have to probe your arse to find it.

Some men like the idea of a partner gently inserting a hand up their bums and sliding their fingers in deep until they reach a state of zen. If you are clenching your teeth now at the mere thought, chances are you will be clenching your sphincter too tightly to enjoy it should you decide to explore. However, if you are reading this with your mouth agape in joy...well, never mind, I'm not going to finish that thought.

One thing about the bum: there is no difference between a man's bum and a woman's bum. So the same precautions apply to all forms of anal play. Hygiene is critical (make sure you wash out the area, and have your friend wash his or her hands). If you practice safe-sex (as I hope you do), you might consider thoughtfully providing a latex surgical glove (assuming neither of you are allergic to rubber), and thus eliminate the risk of infection. Some people think sexual diseases can only be communicated when both sex organs are involved. Not so. Even a tiny cut on a cuticle can present an opportunity for aggressive bacteria and virii to migrate from finger to bum or (more likely) from bum to finger. Make sure you are both STD-free and if you can't be sure, use a glove. Also: lubricate, lubricate, lubricate! You may not thrill to the feeling of Crisco being smeared about your bung-hole but, trust me, you'll appreciate every lick of it when that fist is inside you.

Finally, do what you can to relax. A glass of wine might not be a bad idea. And should you unexpectedly begin to panic during the experience, just remember: what goes up must come down.

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