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Question: Although some women don't enjoy oral sex, and many don't orgasm this way, generally speaking, the women who have the most difficulty coming during cunnilingus are ones who are uneasy about their lovers" poking around down there" or are otherwise uptight about their vaginas. But if oral sex just makes you yawn and check your wristwatch (rather than tremble in disgust), chances are that your inhibitions are not the problem. So let's talk about your boyfriend's technique. First: does he have one? Does he tongue sexy parts of your body, slowly working his way down from your mouth to your nipples to your belly to your thighs and groin? Or does he dive down on you as if you were a Christmas dinner and he a Bosnian refuge? Does he spend time caressing your pink parts and helping to put you in the mood even before the lick-fest begins? When he does go down on you, how does he use his tongue? Is he just thrusting it in and out, or is he making sure to gently kiss, lick, and nibble the inner labia and clit as well? Some men think it's a great show of their prowess to stiffen their tongues and flap it around in there like a trapped eel. In fact, it's a great show of cluelessness. As our forebears always said: "slow and steady wins the race." Meanwhile, take responsibility for your own orgasm! If your man doesn't know what feels best for you, tell him as he goes along. "A little softer there, a little slower, flick that, suck this... now, go fast, go fast, go VERY VERY FAST." Finally, if you enjoy being a little dominant in bed, just grab hold of his ears or hair and position him for maximum effect. Goodness. Is it warm in here or is it just me?
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